10 things to know when meeting someone in a wheelchair
No, we don't want to race your scooter.
As a person with a disability, I have learned to successfully navigate the wonderful world of awkward situations.
Whether I'm out grocery shopping or at the movies with friends, it's not out of the ordinary to be thrusted into uncomfortable experiences. From the painfully piercing stares from toddlers, to inappropriate remarks from strangers, I've seen and heard them all.
Over the past 18 years of using an electric wheelchair, I've bumbled and lumbered my way through experiences and have become an expert in the excruciating.
With this incredible wealth of knowledge, I'm offering these 10 things to consider when you meet someone with a disability:
Don't ask if we know your friend in a wheelchair
Contrary to popular belief, not everyone in a wheelchair knows everyone with a disability. So no, I don't know your friend, Steve, in Atlanta.
We don't want to go for a race
If we wanted to have a race, I'd go to a race track, not a department store.
We don't drive over the speed limit
Our wheelchairs barely go above nine miles per hour, so the speed limit is safe from us.
A fist bump is just as good as a handshake
Many quadriplegics have difficulty moving their fingers and raising their arms, so a fist bump is an accepted alternative to the hand shake or high five.
It's okay to ask to lend a hand
If you come across someone in a wheelchair and it looks like they require assistance, they probably do. Go ahead and ask to lend a hand.
Everyone's disability is different
There are several different types and severities of disabilities, so each person's situation is unique.
It's okay to ask what happened
While I've been asked hundreds of times, it's perfectly fine to ask why I'm in a wheelchair. I figure letting people know about what happened helps them feel more at ease around me.
Your kid doesn't want to go for a ride
On more than one occasion, I've had people with babies playfully say the baby wants a ride on my wheelchair and then put him or her on my lap. Not only does it scare the kid, it's also awkward and extremely uncomfortable for me.
We don't need a gold star for going to the supermarket
If you see someone in a wheelchair out at the grocery store or at a restaurant, you don't need to give us a pat on the back or a thumbs up. We're living our normal lives just like you and buying dinner shouldn't be something you need to cheer about.
You don't need to speak louder
Pro Tip: Being disabled doesn't mean we can't hear or understand you. There's no need to speak to us any louder than anyone else or like we're little toddlers.
By no means are you expected to follow these tips to the letter. They're more guidelines than rules. But if these tips help your next experience with a person with a disability be a little less stressful and awkward, then my goal was accomplished.
Like they always say: the more you know.
30 Lessons I've Learned Over My 30 Years
It's been a crazy adventure over the past 30 years of my life.
It's been a crazy adventure over the past 30 years of my life. I've been through numerous trials and tribulations, but I can certainly say that my life has been mostly half full. From growing up in the bustling Arizona suburb of Ahwatukee to fighting for my life during my eight-month hospital stay, there have been plenty of experiences that taught me how to live life to the fullest. Here are 30 lessons I've learned during my brief 30 years on this earth.
- Don't sweat the small stuff. It's a little cliche, but definitely true.
- Patience is most certainly a virtue. Know when to just stop, take a breath, and relax.
- It's okay to ask for help sometimes, we all could use a hand with something.
- Casa Reynoso makes the best Mexican food in Arizona.
- Just because a personal aide is attractive, it doesn't make them reliable. You know who you are.
- It doesn't do you any good to look for someone to blame.
- Feeling sorry for yourself isn't worth it.
- You can always make the best out of any bad situation.
- Being in a hospital for eight months qualifies you for a health credit in high school.
- Athletes come in many forms. They even drive electric wheelchairs.
- Strength isn't measured by a person's physical capacity.
- Portable ramps will always be your best friend.
- Don't freak out when you get locked in a van. There's a locksmith around somewhere.
- You'd be surprised at the logistics involved in giving a lap dance to a guy in a wheelchair.
- If you need someone to look up to, sit down.
- New Girl is the best show on T.V. and scary relatable to my life.
- Ironside was cancelled after three episodes because they cast Blair Underwood instead of me.
- The airline industry is the arch-nemesis of people with disabilities.
- If you have to spend eight months in the hospital, make sure there is a Whataburger across the street.
- It’s okay to have bad days. But that doesn’t mean you have to have a bad attitude.
- Experience everything you can.
- Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a person by their disability.
- A sense of humor can get you through any situation.
- Make time to thank those who’ve helped you along your journey.
- Learning to breathe is harder the second time around.
- Enjoy your high school and college years, they’ll be some of the best years of your life.
- Always make time for your friends.
- Growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional.
- If you can’t do what you love, love what you do.
- Never give up, never stop fighting.
The past 30 years have been quite a ride and I can’t wait to see what the next 30 hold. I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that I will continue to live the best I can and enjoy life as much as possible.
I Wish My Life Was More Like a Romantic Comedy
Of course, this isn't the first time I've thought about having a girlfriend, but it's definitely at the front of my mind.
William Thacker was a very lucky man. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it would be like to be in a serious relationship. Of course, this isn't the first time I've thought about having a girlfriend, but it's definitely at the front of my mind.
I just recently watched Larry Crowne (a great movie by the way), and I couldn't help but wish that my life was more like a romantic comedy. As I watched Tom Hanks flirt with Julia Roberts on the big screen, I dreamt about what it would be like if I was in his world.
I already have a perfect situation that plays out in my mind.
I'm sitting at the mall, just wasting some time until I have to go to work. Suddenly, I realize that I'm going to be late and rush towards the exit. As I roll towards the door, I look down at my phone on my lap to catch the time. At the same time, a cute girl is standing by the door, intently typing away on her cell phone.
Without looking, I accidentally get a little too close to her and run over her toe. She screams out in pain as she falls into a plastic chair. My face becomes red with embarrassment, as I try to apologize. She is noticeably irritated and is about to tear me to the ground until she realizes that I'm in a wheelchair.
"It's okay," she shrugs. "Just watch where you drive that thing.
"I'm really sorry about that," I reply. "I've been driving for 10 years and I still haven't got the hang of this."
She then slowly limps away, but not before cracking a little smile.
Our paths cross again in the parking lot. I notice her limping around, staring aimlessly into the sea of cars. I slowly roll up behind her.
"Need some help," I ask.
"No, I just seem to have misplaced by Mustang," she replies with a sigh.
"Well, I'll help you look for it," I say. "My arms and legs may be broke, but my sense of direction is as good as ever. And it looks like your hurtin' a bit. Let me give you a lift."
She looks back and furls her brow.
"A lift," she questions. "On what?"
I smile and tell her that she can hop on the back of my chair and I'll take her to her car. Reluctantly, she steps on the back of my chair and we roll around the parking lot in search of her car. After a few minutes, we come across her Mustang and I drop her off.
Once again I apologize for running over her toe and wish her a great rest of her day. She gets off my chair and walks to her car. Just before she leaves, she drives up along side me, stops and gets out of her car. She pulls out a piece of paper and writes down her number.
"If you need a lift next time, give me a call," she says with a smile before she drives off. The rest, they say, is romantic comedy history.
Well, in a perfect world, that's how I envision it playing out. But reality is far from perfect, so for now I'll just keep hoping. That, or maybe I'll just open up an antique travel book shop on Notting Hill.
Back in the Day... Part 1
So my dad found a box of of old video tapes (yes, video tapes) and he's been digging through them ever since. He's found a lot of old baseball games and home movies, including this absolute gem. Here is a clip of my brother, Matt, back in 1994. He was nine years old and already knew how to be a ham in front of the cameraman. Whose behind the camera, you say? Yours truly.
Zach Anner is My New Hero!
I saw Zach Anner's interview on Attack of the Show and he is awesome! Anner submitted a video to Oprah's My Own Show competition and already has more than 9 million votes! He has Cerebral Palsy, which he believes is the sexiest of the palsys, but his sense of humor and great personality have made him an internet sensation. I highly recommend checking out his videos. They're excellent!
Look Ma', No Glasses!
This past week, I finally caved in and decided to get contacts. I have been wearing glasses for the past seven years, and have been hesitant to get contacts. But after my recent visit to the optomotrist, my eye doc persuaded me to give them a try. While some of you might be wondering why I'm writing about such a blah topic such as contacts, here's my reasoning.
Even though the topic of contacts themselves might not warrant a conversation, my application of them would. You see, since I can't move, I'm unable to put them in myself. This the the biggest hurdle for me to jump, or roll over, as I came to my contact solution. So my dad has graciously decided to volunteer to be my contact installer. I can feel your hesitation as you read this, so I'll go over his qualifications:
- He wears contacts himself, so he knows the procedure
- He's in construction, so he must be good with his hands
- He's stuck a plastic tube down a hole in my throat when I had a trach, so he good with medical proceedures
Sold? Good. Because I'm going to ignore the fact that his hands feel like they're coated with sand paper and can cut my contacts or eyes at any moment. And to even get some additional practice, the eye doc let him put the contacts in and out a few times before we left. After the first week, so far so good. I haven't lost them or got my eye slashed. Check back later for pics. Now that I don't have glasses to cover my eye brows, I might have to do something about my emerging uni-brow. I guess I'm going to have to cave in again and do some "man-scaping..."
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis
When I grow up, I want to be just like Zach. Or at least just as funny...
This Kid is Amazing!
This is what happens after you go to the dentist and get just a little to much laughing gas. Remember kids, just say no to drugs, and root canals.