Wheelchair Accessible Chivalry

After reading Shane Burcaw's amazing article on his experience with love and disability, I've decided to share my own thoughts on the subject. 

It's no secret that calling me any kind of expert on relationships couldn't be further from the truth. That being said, dating and girls are never far from my mind. 

Navigating relationships has always been difficult for me, even before I became a quad. Shyness was a big factor, but it was amplified even more once the wheelchair became a part of the equation. Over the years I may have learned how to approach and talk to girls, but being able to translate that into a successful social life was harder to accomplish.

Nowadays, the first thing I think about whenever I see a girl I want to ask out, all I can think about are logistics. 

• How will I get to the date?
• Can she drive me?
• Is she going to be okay feeding me?
• I want to pay for everything, but how do I ask her to take out my wallet?

The list seems to grow longer and longer as I think of all the scenarios and I've officially psyched myself out. Then I think about how I put my best foot forward. I've seen enough romantic comedies to know that manners, sincerity and kindness go a long way. Unfortunately, chivalry in the traditional sense isn't going to cut it for me. 

• How do I hold open the door for her?
• What do I do if she gets cold?
• Would I be able to walk her to her door after the date?

Reading Shane's article answered some of those questions for me. I'm not going to ever be able to be chivalrous in the way I was taught to be, but that doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman in other ways. I also realized that I ultimately just need to be myself and let things fall where they may. 

I applaud Shane and am happy to know that it is possible to find love, disability or not. He's a great role model for anyone with a disability who may be a little wary about jumping into the dating pool. Even if it's in the shallow end for people like me. 

Time to Help #GetGabeADate

If you've spent any amount of time on the Internet, you know all about the crowdsourcing trend. 

Whether it's a parent looking to fundraise for their child's medical expenses or a community looking to help make a kid's dream a reality, the "series of tubes" is filled with requests to rally the Internet for help. 

And now it's my turn to try out the crowdsourcing trend. No, I'm not looking for donations or medical support. What am I asking for?

Help finding a date. 

I figured the internet has rallied around numerous causes, so what's one more, albeit awkward, cause?

It's no secret that my personal life has been, how do I say this, "PG." I seemed to have mastered the skill of asking only girls with boyfriends out on dates. I don't know if it's just cruel luck, or God's twisted sense of humor, but every time I finally have the courage to ask a girl out, she's always already taken. And you think it'd end there, but no. Instead of saying, "No, thank you," she says, "Sure!" Then when she shows up, she brings along her boyfriend. I know I ride on six wheels everyday, but being the third wheel on a pity date isn't anyone's idea of a good time. 

If God's getting a kick from my awkward experiences, my interactions with the opposite sex are as good as gold.  So this is where you come in. I'm turning over my chance at my true First Date over to you, the interwebz. 

This Saturday, August 9, I have two tickets to the Justin Timberlake concert at Jobing.com arena in Glendale, AZ. Now, my normal plan would be to go with a family member. But this time I'm going to take a chance. If you know a single lady out there who'd like to spend an evening with one of the sexiest men on the planet, and Justin Timberlake, send her my way. 

Crowdsourcing for my first date is a little unorthodox, but maybe that's what I need to finally get me out of my shell and in to an actual social life. 

If you have any first date suggestions, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, or email at gabettrujillo@gmail.com. 

The Girlfriend Experience

I don't know if it was my best friend's wedding or watching Love Actually again for the 34th time, but I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. More specifically, the idea of finding a girlfriend. 

While I have experienced a lot during my past 30 years, one experience that continues to elude me is being in a relationship. Sure, I've hung out with girls, but I have yet to experience my first true date. I don't seem to have a problem spending time with girls, it just never seemed like girls viewed me as boyfriend material. 

Probably the biggest reason why I have yet to go on a date is because I rarely go out. To say that my life to this point has been a little sheltered, would not be a complete lie. Traditionally, someone looking for a date would probably head to a local bar or club. But for me, I can safely count the number of times I've been to a bar on two fingers. And I know that if I ever want to have any semblance of a social life, I need to get out more. As much as the commercials want to make me believe it, the odds of finding my dream girl on the Internet are slim to none. 

But whenever I think about going out, all I can think about are the logistics:

• Who will I get to drive me there?
• Will there be enough room for me to get around the bar?
• Will it be weird if I don't drink?
• How will I approach a girl?
• How am I going to get home?

While spending eight months in the hospital and sitting around a bunch of nurses did help me become more comfortable around women, the thought of going on a date also absolutely terrifies me. I guess I still have a lot to learn. 

I often think about what being in a relationship would be like. And I've seen my fair share of romantic comedies to know that all it takes is one chance and a little courage to make magic happen. I can't tell you how many times I've rehearsed my first date in my head. While I have everything planned out, you never really know how it is going to work out until you do it. 

So as I watch my best friend marry the love of his life, I realize that I shouldn't give up hope for a relationship of my own. Even though I can't hold open a door or pull out a chair. I can still be myself and show girls that gentlemen come in many forms. As long as I'm willing to take a chance and let life happen, who knows, maybe I'll finally get the chance to go on my very first date.