What do I want for my birthday? A donation to AZDS.

Yup, I’m turning the big 3-5. And I’m finally getting to the realization that I’m not as spry as I once was. 

But I digress. With my birthday coming up, I’m taking to Facebook with a unique request. 

For my birthday this year, I’m asking my friends, family and acquaintances to help me support an incredible organization, Arizona Disabled Sports. 

I’ve been an athlete with their power soccer program for more than 12 years and recently became an official board member for AZDS. A big part of my responsibilities as a board member is helping to raise funds for the organization. And this is where you come in. 

Using Facebook’s fundraising campaigns, I created a fundraiser to help give to AZDS in honor of me turning 35. So if you feel so inclined, you can join my fundraiser and give a donation to this cause that’s very near to my heart. 

This organization does a lot for athletes with disabilities and my life wouldn’t be as fulfilling if I hadn’t found AZDS. Not only do they give athletes the chance to compete in a wide variety of sports, the help each person thrive and develop skills off the court or field too. 

If you would like to give, head over to Facebook to donate online. 

Anything you can give, no matter how big or small, is greatly appreciated. 

Knowing (who you are) is half the battle

We are all fighting battles. Some fight on a battlefield. Others fight within themselves. But we are all searching for victories in our own wars. 

But no matter where or what you’re fighting for, it’s important to remember just how strong we can be. 

More than 20 years ago, most of my physical strength left me. My arms and legs weakened by an illness I couldn’t see and condition that seemed insurmountable. As I laid motionless in that hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and cables, I learned the true meaning of "strong."

From that moment on, the definition of strength was no longer limited to the size of your muscles. Instead, I realized true strength is measured by will and courage. Even though my body was more frail than before, my will to fight never wavered and only grew stronger. 

So every day that I’m able to greet the sun and take a breath, I fight to live life to the fullest and remember to enjoy everything it has to offer. Sadness and despair will always be present in today’s society, but if we choose to focus on good and the power of the human spirit, our lives will be better for it. 

“Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity, it comes from an indomitable will.” 

This quote from Ghandi has become my favorite since I became a person with a disability. It embodies my personal philosophy on life and provides validity to my belief on the importance of courage and perseverance. 

Now those who read this my not have intimate knowledge about the struggles of living life with a disability, but we all can relate to struggle and hardships, no matter what they may be. 

As we all continue to fight our own wars, we look for hope of winning our own personal battles. If my experiences have taught me anything, it is that we all have the power to overcome whatever we encounter. 

Whether it’s enemies on the field of battle or the inner-demons of our own devices, we must never forget the strength we have within ourselves. Knowing that you have what it takes to succeed and persevere is a victory in and of itself. 

And knowing is half the battle. 

No, death doesn’t mean freedom from disability

This past week, the world mourned the loss of Stephen Hawking. 

The brilliant man and physicist has forever changed the way we view the cosmos and his impact on our society can’t be denied. 

Along with his incredible intellect, Hawking is also known for his fight with ALS. 

His computerized voice is well known throughout the science and pop culture world, so his death brought sentiments from around the world. 

But all the thoughts and prayers given to Hawking and is family was met with some controversy. 

For example, actor Gal Gadot offered her sympathies and said Hawking is “now free of his physical constraints.”

While I’m sure Gadot meant no ill will to Hawking, her comment spurred an online debate about ableism against people with disabilities. 

There are many who believe that because of a person’s disability, death brings a welcome release to any physical limitations. And if someone has a disability, he or she doesn’t experience true freedom. 

As a person with a disability, I can safely say that this sentiment couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Not once have I ever thought of death as an escape from my disability. It’s not something I will ever welcome just because I’m in a wheelchair. 

Our lives aren't any less fulfilling because of our physical or medical challenges. Success while living life with a disability shouldn't have to come with an asterisk. For example, he has accomplished so much (*despite being in a wheelchair.)

Disabilities may be something we have, but they don't define who we are.

I know, and I'm sure everyone else knows, that Gadot didn't mean anything by her tweet. But it is important to recognize ableism and make the effort to enact change. Everyday, I'm reminded of my "otherness" because of my disability, and our society's ableism can be more restrictive than any physical limitation.

Those with disabilities do not wish for death to be free from challenges. We want to experience life just like our able-bodied counterparts and any belief to the contrary is misinformed. 

Freedom is not death for those with disabilities. Freedom is accessibility. Freedom is accommodation. Freedom is the acceptance from those who can look past limitations.

The 10 best things about being a quadriplegic

This year marked the 20th anniversary of me becoming a quadriplegic. 

And among the past two decades, I’ve learned plenty of important lessons. But none more important than the need to have a quality sense of humor. 

Sure, there aren’t many things to laugh about when you’ve spent eight months in the hospital and haven’t taken a step in over 8,000 days, but if you look hard enough, you might be able to crack a smile every now and then. 

In that spirit, I thought I would share the 10 best things about being a quadriplegic. 

I get the best parking spots. 

With a handicap license plate, I get a prime spot to park my van everywhere I go. 

No need to take a seat. 

Whenever I have a meeting, I never have to scramble for a chair. For me it’s always “BYOC,” bring your own chair. 

Wear and tear free. 

Since I don’t walk, my shoes stay in pristine condition. Which is great (or horrible) for my burgeoning sneaker fetish. 

Look ma, no hands. 

Dieting has never been easier. If I want to go on a diet, all I need to do is just tell everyone not to feed me junk food. I can’t cheat if I can’t put it in my mouth. 

Early access. 

At many events, there’s often accessible entries or early access. Which means no need to wait in those long lines. If you got it, might as well take advantage of it. 

I don’t have to speak to anyone I don’t want to. 

Most of the time, people assume I can’t speak or just ignore me all together. 

No need to worry about street vendors. 

Since they think I am not cognitive, they just ignore me. That’s fine, I didn’t want a two year subscription to “People Magazine” anyway. 

There’s no pressure to hit the gym. 

Any muscles I had waved bye-bye long ago. Besides, the only six pack I’m interested in is full of caffeine and corn syrup. 

Who needs a coat hanger?

I’m always a hit for those who need to take a quick trip to the mall. Don’t worry about lugging around your bags, just stick them on my armrests and viola! Hands-free shopping. 

It’s okay, he’s disabled. 

If I run into anybody, they generally just shrug it off. Of course it was because they weren’t watching where they were going, not because I’m a horrible driver. 

So you see, disability isn’t always doom and gloom. 

If life gives you lemons, just run them over, because you can’t pick them up anyways. 

20 things I learned after 20 years as a quadriplegic

20 years. I can't believe it's been two decades. 

On September 12, 1997, my life, as the Fresh Prince would say, "got flipped turned upside down."

A simple cold turned into a life-threatening pneumonia that left me paralyzed from the neck down. 

Since that day, I've experienced and grown a lot. I've lived through some incredible and trying times over the last 20 years, and even learned an important lesson or two. 

Here are 20 things I've learned in the last 7,300 days as a quadriplegic. 

The power of patience

One of the defining qualities I've mastered over the last few years is patience. When you are dependent on others for nearly every aspect of your life, you quickly learn the importance of not being quick to judge and knowing when to relax and not get too stressed out. It is true what they say, patience is indeed a virtue. 

It's okay to have a bad day

Bad days are bound to happen and it's perfectly fine to have them. We all have those moments when things just aren't going to go the way we planned, but it's important to know that it won't last forever. Always remember that you always have the power to overcome life's darkest moments. 

Don't be afraid to ask for help

I am still trying to master this one to this day. If you need a helping hand, don't be afraid to ask. As we've seen recently with the events in Houston from Hurricane Harvey, there will always be those who are willing to assist those in need. And whether it's being rescued from rising flood waters or just something as simple as opening a door, a helping hand is just an ask away. 

Lap dances are a logistical nightmare 

A few years ago, for my best friend's bachelor party, I had the chance to have my first strip club experience. Because that's what you do for a bachelor party. It was an eye-opening experience that is a longer story for another time, but let's just say that someone trying to dance on a wheelchair isn't as sexy as it sounds. 

I apparently want to race with everyone I meet

Over the last 20 years, I can't even count the number of people who ask me if I want to race while I'm out and about. For future reference, no, I don't want to race, and no, you're not funny. 

Enjoy the little things 

Life can get pretty hectic at times, even if you're not a quadriplegic. So make sure you take time to just sit back and enjoy the little things. Like when you're van lift works without breaking or when you fly on an airplane and your wheelchair comes back in one piece. 

I cannot hold my liquor 

During my aforementioned best friend's wedding, I took a shot of Tequila with the wedding party. It didn't take long for my hands to get puffy and the room to start spinning. I am the definition of light weight. 

Don't play the blame game 

I always am commended for my positive outlook and never being down and looking for someone to blame about my situation. It would be easy to sit here and feel bad about being in a wheelchair, but the truth is, I don't believe there's anyone to blame. Yes, it's unfortunate that this happened, but being mad about it and angry towards someone or something won't improve my situation. 

You can always make the best out of any bad situation

Unexpected and unfortunate situations are bound to happen. But lemons always have the possibility of being lemonade. 

Being in a hospital for eight months qualifies you for a health credit in high school

When I was released from the hospital, I went back to school. But while I was in the hospital, I made sure to keep up with my school work. On top of the classes I took, I was able to get health class credit for my eight-month hospital stay. I guess life-threatening illness qualifies as an acceptable lesson plan. 

Athletes come in many forms

I was an avid soccer player before I got sick. When I became a quadriplegic, I thought my life as an athlete were over. But I found the incredible sport of power soccer and it has reinvigorated my competitive spirit and introduced me to an amazing world. 

Strength isn't measured by a person's physical capacity

My muscles may have failed me, but they will not limit my drive to succeed. As long as there's a breath still in me, I will fight to live the life I want. 

Portable ramps will always be your best friend

If you ever find yourself using a wheelchair to get around, keep a portable ramp handy. Whether it's a broke-down van or an inaccessible restaurant, you'll be sure to encounter situations that will require one. 

Don't freak out when you get locked in a van

When I was in college, one of my aides locked me in my van on her first day working for me. Luckily it was winter and the ASU security guard was an expert lock picker. 

If you need someone to look up to, sit down

It's always healthy to keep an open mind and always see things from different perspectives. You'd be surprised how much your view will change when you're sitting 24/7. 

Ironside was cancelled after three episodes because they cast Blair Underwood instead of me

In the media, people with disabilities are often perceived as one-dimensional characters, often left in the background. But with new shows like Speechless and Atypical, people with disabilities are getting the proper attention and portrayals we deserve. 

The airline industry is the arch-nemesis of people with disabilities

Flying anywhere is always a gamble. The airlines are well known for the mishandling and damaging of wheelchairs. It seems like almost every time I flew a piece of my chair would end up broken. 

If you have to spend eight months in the hospital, make sure there is a Whataburger across the street

Take it from me, never trust the hospital food. Whenever I could, I made sure to eat out. The nurses could argue with me all they wanted, they weren't going to convince me that the yellow blob on my tray was mashed potatoes. 

Experience everything you can

Regardless of your situation, if you have the chance to experience something new, fun, or exciting, do it. In the end, you will be more upset if didn't do it than if you did. 

Make time to thank those who’ve helped you along your journey

I would be nowhere without my incredible family and friends. I am often congratulated for being as successful and positive as I am, given my situation, but I can say my support system is a big reason why. Many of us have those who stand in our corners cheering us on, and I'm here to remind you to thank those who've helped you in your journey. 

September 12, 1997 will forever be a defining moment in my life. Since then, I experienced ups and downs, the good and bad, laughs and tears, and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

No one knows what the future holds. In the next 20 years, a lot could change. I may be still sitting in this chair or walking on my own two feet. Either way I am going to life my life the best I can. 

I may be a quadriplegic, but I'm going to roll wherever life take me. Except stairs. 

Don't be offended if I decline your cookie

Sometimes, my life is nothing if not a series of awkward encounters. 

As I make my way through life as a quadriplegic, there are times when I interact with able-bodied people that still take some getting used to. 

This is one of those times. 

This specific moment I'm referring to involves someone who is unfamiliar with my situation and offers me something to eat. 

"Would you like a piece?" someone asks. 

Whether it's a snack or a full meal, I never really know what to say. So to avoid total awkwardness, I politely decline. 

I'm not really sure if they realize that if they offer, the only way I can eat it is if they feed it to me. 

My reluctance to accept their offer stems from the stories I've heard from other quadriplegics about people's discomfort once they realize they need to feed someone. 

The last thing I want to do is make someone feel uncomfortable from an interaction with me. And if someone isn't used to feeding another person, it can be a little unnerving. 

I have come across people who think helping someone eat something is weird and uncomfortable, especially in public. I don't blame them for not helping because it's definitely not something they're used to. 

I also know that there are those who don't mind helping, but identifying where people stand on feeding someone can be just as awkward as having someone actually feeding you. 

It may seem like not that big of a deal to worry about, but I believe it's a very intimate act between me and the person helping me and I don't want to put anyone in a situation they're not comfortable with. 

So if you're one of those people who've asked if I wanted a cookie or something for lunch, know that my decline of your offer is nothing personal. 

It's just a way for me to avoid one of those many moments of awkwardness that have filled my life over the last 20 years. 

But if you don't mind shoveling a few cookies or chips in my mouth, that's perfectly fine too. 

I love a good snack. 

Why the AHCA has me worried about my future

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

It's a motto many Americans live by every day in search of the American dream. 

Including myself. 

Every since I was a kid, my family instilled in me the drive and work ethic needed to succeed in life. 

Go to school, graduate from college and get a job. 

Everything was going to plan; graduate high school, check. Graduate from Arizona State University with a Bachelor's and Master's degree, check. After college, get a job and start my career in marketing and journalism, check. 

It seemed like my pursuit of happiness was on the right path, but it seems we've come across a road block that could be unpassable. 

Now my story is no more significant or important than the millions of other Americans living in this country, but the recent political climate has urged me to share my story. 

I am one of the estimated 56 million people with a disability in the United States and my future, along with many other Americans with disabilities, is in serious jeapordy. 

The recent developments of the proposed American Health Care Act could have disastrous implications for those with disabilities, including severe cuts to Medicaid. 

If passed, this bill could take away services and eliminate insurance for more than 23 million people living with disabilities. We could also see increased institutionalization of people with disabilities if this bill goes through.

Medicaid is a necessity for low income families and people with disabilities as they rely on this service for assistance with insurance and other necessary programs. 

For me, this new bill could severely hinder my ability to do many of the day-to-day activities many take for granted. 

As a quadriplegic, I rely on Personal Care Attendants to assist me in virtually every daily task. 

From taking showers to going to the restroom, I require help from attendants to ensure I can function effectively. It's a service that if taken away, could drastically impact my quality of life. 

Without this service, not only would my quality of life suffer, but it would be a good chance that I would also not be able to hold any type of steady employment and even be forced to live in a group home in the future. 

Even though I've used an electric wheelchair for almost 20 years, I've been gainfully employed since graduations college in 2006. 

From working at an online high school to a digital marketing company, to my current job as a Social Media Producer at 12 News, I've thankfully never known life among the unemployed. 

But that could all change if the new American Health Care Act passes. And it's a future I hope never comes to fruition. 

Not having a regular care attendant means not knowing when I would even be able to get out of bed everyday and possibly never having the ability to even regularly leave my house. 

Right now, my father provides the care I need to be a successful, contributing member to society. But one day, his ability to give me care will be gone and I will be at the mercy of companies providing attendant care. 

But if there is no Medicaid, these services could be limited to non-existant. 

This isn't a red issue or a blue issue. This isn't about cutting corners to save money. It's about providing simple human decency to those who need it the most. 

The biggest questions I deal with shouldn't be if I'll be able to go take a shower or even go to the bathroom that day. They should be about how to get that promotion at work or what to say to that pretty girl across the street. 

It's very much an uncertain future as we await the decision on the American Health Care Act.

In the meantime, I urge everyone, both people with disabilities and able-bodied people alike, to call their senators at (202) 224-3121 and tell them to vote NO on the American Health Care bill

As I join the millions of others with disabilities waiting to learn the fate of the AHCA, I will do what I can to live the American dream for as long as I'm afforded the ability to do so. 

I will continue to fight and show that a disability shouldn't mean the death of liberty.

Those living with a disability should be afforded the ability to pursue happiness just like everyone else.

While our limbs may have failed our bodies, our strength, courage and hope for the future will never keep us from making the American dream a reality.

Full disclosure: Online dating with a disability

I bring to you, my latest conundrum. 

Recently, I decided to take the plunge and dive head first into Tinder, the popular mobile dating app. 

Now I know that I'm a little late to the swipe-right soirée, but it seemed like as good a time as any to throw my hat in the online dating pool. 

So with eager anticipation, I created my profile and started swiping away. 

But after a couple weeks of using the app, the results were less than favorable. I only managed to get one total match since downloading the app. 

To make matters worse, I didn't even get a response from the one girl I did match with. If anyone knows Kelly, 28, let her know I'm still waiting for a reply. 

With the unfortunate results, I came to an interesting question; would I have fared any better if I didn't fully disclose my disability?

It's an interesting theory. If I just showed close up photos of me and didn't show my wheelchair, would I have gotten more right swipes?

I'm no expert, but if I saw "Gabe, 33, Journalist and graduate from ASU," it should warrant at least a profile view, right?

But as I gave it more thought, the more I was against it. I feel like it was just delaying the inevitable. I would rather the girl know what to expect instead of being blindsided by my wheelchair on a first date. 

It just doesn't seem right to not at least mention it. My disability doesn't define me, but it's very much a part of me and has shaped me into who I am today. 

While it hasn't garnered much success yet, I am glad I decided to show the whole me. I am comfortable with who I am and my disability. 

If a girl is turned off by my disability, I would not hold it against her. It is a lifestyle that definitely takes getting used to and you can't get the full grasp of what that means in a single swipe. 

So for now, I will continue to swipe and see what happens. 

You never know, maybe Ms. (Swipe) right is just around the corner.

Zach Anner hits the nail on the head

I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed today and I came across this awesome video by comedian Zach Anner. 

In the video, he eloquently talks about 10 things people should know about Cerebral Palsy. While I do not have CP, this video certainly resonated with my life as a person in a wheelchair. 

From constantly being asked if I know other, random people in wheelchairs, to being talked to like a 5-year-old, his tips definitely ring true in my life. 

Nice job, Zach!

If you'd like to learn more about things to know about people in wheelchairs, check out my previous blog post. 

I decided to do my own #MannequinChallenge

A challenge where you're not supposed to move? Now that's a challenge I can get behind! The song is “Black Beatles” by Rae Sremmurd.

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