30 Lessons I've Learned Over My 30 Years

It's been a crazy adventure over the past 30 years of my life. I've been through numerous trials and tribulations, but I can certainly say that my life has been mostly half full. From growing up in the bustling Arizona suburb of Ahwatukee to fighting for my life during my eight-month hospital stay, there have been plenty of experiences that taught me how to live life to the fullest. Here are 30 lessons I've learned during my brief 30 years on this earth. 

• Don't sweat the small stuff. It's a little cliche, but definitely true. 
• Patience is most certainly a virtue. Know when to just stop, take a breath, and relax. 
• It's okay to ask for help sometimes, we all could use a hand with something. 
• Casa Reynoso makes the best Mexican food in Arizona. 
• Just because a personal aide is attractive, it doesn't make them reliable. You know who you are. 
• It doesn't do you any good to look for someone to blame. 
• Feeling sorry for yourself isn't worth it. 
• You can always make the best out of any bad situation. 
• Being in a hospital for eight months qualifies you for a health credit in high school. 
• Athletes come in many forms. They even drive electric wheelchairs. 
• Strength isn't measured by a person's physical capacity. 
• Portable ramps will always be your best friend. 
• Don't freak out when you get locked in a van. There's a locksmith around somewhere. 
• You'd be surprised at the logistics involved in giving a lap dance to a guy in a wheelchair. 
• If you need someone to look up to, sit down. 
• New Girl is the best show on T.V. and scary relatable to my life.
• Ironside was cancelled after three episodes because they cast Blair Underwood instead of me.
• The airline industry is the arch-nemesis of people with disabilities.
• If you have to spend eight months in the hospital, make sure there is a Whataburger across the street.
• It’s okay to have bad days. But that doesn’t mean you have to have a bad attitude.
• Experience everything you can.
• Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a person by their disability.
• A sense of humor can get you through any situation.
• Make time to thank those who’ve helped you along your journey.
• Learning to breathe is harder the second time around.
• Enjoy your high school and college years, they’ll be some of the best years of your life.
• Always make time for your friends.
• Growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional.
• If you can’t do what you love, love what you do.
• Never give up, never stop fighting.

The past 30 years have been quite a ride and I can’t wait to see what the next 30 hold. I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that I will continue to live the best I can and enjoy life as much as possible.

Once an Athlete, Always an Athlete

In 2005, I was introduced to the sport of power soccer. While I was a reporter for the State Press at Arizona State University, I came across this amazing adaptive sport for people with disabilities.

I was doing a piece on adaptive sport options for people living in the Phoenix area and power soccer came up during my research.

As a quadriplegic and electric wheelchair user, I was intrigued to see what the sport was all about. After doing some additional research, I found myself at a local power soccer practice to see the sport in person.

Once I began watching these athletes dribble the ball around the court and seeing the smiles on their faces, I knew that it wasn’t going to be long before I became an athlete myself.

From the moment I strapped a plastic guard to the leg rests of my wheelchair, I felt something that I thought was gone forever. As a kid, I was an avid sports fan and spent many a weekend playing on local soccer and little league teams.

Playing sports was a big part of my childhood and when I lost the ability to move my arms and legs, I thought the days of me being a competitive athlete were over. But once I experienced power soccer, I realized that I could still be a part of the sports world as a competitive athlete.

Over the past eight years, I’ve seen the sport of power soccer go through numerous evolutions. During my early experiences with the sport, the emphasis was very much on dribbling and ball handling. More recently, rule changes have been implemented to open up the game and encourage more passing and strategy.

With all of these new changes, the game has become more exciting not just for the athletes, but for the spectators as well. Along with the rule changes, we have seen the wheelchairs used by the athletes go through their own evolution.

During my first few years of playing power soccer, I used a mid-wheel drive chair with a plastic guard fastened to the leg rests. As the game evolved, I transitioned to using a rear-wheel drive chair with a metal guard fastened to the chair’s frame. Today, I am currently using a custom-built wheelchair specifically designed for power soccer.

With the advancement of technology in power soccer, electric wheelchairs now have more speed and maneuverability than ever before. But with the advancements of these wheelchairs, a big debate is starting to emerge.

Is a superior wheelchair all you need to be a superior power soccer athlete?

As a power soccer athlete, I have to say that it takes more than just a finely tuned, custom-built wheelchair to make you a top-tier athlete.

Not only do you need to have advanced cognitive ability, but the higher-performing athletes also possess great communication skills and superior eye-hand coordination and reflexes. Simply putting any person in the most advanced soccer chair doesn’t mean that the person automatically becomes a great power soccer athlete.

Becoming a great player in power soccer means spending countless hours of practice, honing and refining your skills. It means developing good chemistry with your teammates and a court awareness to ensure you’re performing at the highest level.

The wheelchair an athlete uses should only be viewed as a piece of equipment. If an athlete plays in the best wheelchair available, all it is doing is amplifying the skill level the athlete already possesses.

Sure, an athlete in a chair with a metal guard will be more powerful than an athlete in a chair with a plastic guard, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be more effective. If an athlete can’t effectively control the chair or possess the knowledge and awareness needed to play, they’ll be more of a liability than an asset.

In every sport, not just in power soccer, athletes use the best equipment possible to gain a competitive edge. But the equipment will never overshadow the talent of the athletes. Michael Jordan wasn’t the best basketball player just because he wore Nike shoes. Jerry Rice wasn’t the greatest receiver in the NFL just because he wore the best gloves. Hank Aaron wasn’t one of MLB’s greatest players because he used the best bat and ball. All of these players were great because of their immense talent and commitment to the sports they loved to play.

And power soccer athletes shouldn’t be judged any differently.

Electric wheelchairs are, and forever will be, an important part of power soccer. Technology will continue to improve and the sport will continue to evolve. But no matter how strong, fast and reactive the wheelchairs get, the heart of this sport will always lie in those who play it.

I will always be grateful to power soccer. The sport has rejuvenated my competitive spirit and allowed me to be an athlete in a whole new way.

For now, I will continue to practice and hone my skills. Hopefully by the time my playing days are over, I’ll be remembered among the power soccer greats.

Why You're a Roll Model - And the Responsibility that Comes with it

Yes, that pun was definitely intended.

In my last post, I wrote about the Arizona Diamondbacks drafting Cory Hahn.

Many applaud, myself included, the Diamondbacks organization for this incredible gesture. This was an amazing opportunity for Hahn, and I wish him nothing but the best in his pursuits in a career in baseball. But like Uncle Ben always said, "with great power, comes great responsibility."

While Hahn's accident is certainly tragic and unfortunate, the nature of his injury put him in a very unique position. Even though he lost the ability to walk, he also gained another important ability.

The ability to enact change.

Because his injury occurred on the sports field, Hahn and his road to recovery were put in the mainstream media spotlight. People were captivated by his determination and resolve and cheered him on from across the globe. He is a beaming example of the strength of the human spirit and everyone can't help but root for him. Along with Hahn, former Rutgers football player Eric LeGrand has also been widely publicized because of a paralyzing injury. During his recovery, LeGrand received well-wishes from celebrities and appeared on numerous television shows. But while these injured athletes received supports from the rich and famous, Hahn and LeGrand also become celebrities in their own right.

They became the face of the disability community in mainstream media and gained a global audience as they go through their recovery. And because of this, they have an incredible opportunity to enact some real and important change regarding issues for people with disabilities.

From accessibility to transportation, health care to employment opportunities, there is no shortage of issues that need to be addressed and discussed. Here are just a few statistics:

• The jobless rate for people with disabilities is at 13.6% (http://bit.ly/16oovJC)
• The median income is $23,532 for people aged 21 to 64 with a disability, compared to $32,688 for those with no disability. (http://bit.ly/16oqf5E)
• One third of the employers surveyed said that persons with disabilities cannot effectively perform the required job tasks. The second most common reason given for not hiring persons with disabilities was the fear of costly special facilities. (http://bit.ly/17MU3My)

When it comes to improving the lives and opportunities for people with disabilities, there is much to be done. Many of those with disabilities still aren't afforded the opportunities and services needed to live to their full potential, but with people like Hahn and LeGrand, things can change.

I am urging Hahn, LeGrand and other people with disabilities to become more boisterous advocates for the less fortunate who live with a disability. They have been given a platform where they can help bring important awareness to disability issues and become vehicles of change; for the better. Whether they know it or not, they've become important role models to those with disabilities and with that, comes a responsibility to be greater, to achieve more. Not just for themselves, but for those in similar situations.

So I challenge them to become leaders, instigators, advocates and mentors. Be more than just an inspiring human interest story and show others what people with disabilities are truly capable of. While their bodies may be weak, they still have the power to make a difference.

With their help, anything is possible.

Walking in My Dreams

Last night I had a dream about me regaining my ability to walk. This wasn't the first time this scenario had played out in my mind as I slept, but it was by far the most vivid. 

The dream began with me lying motionless in my bed in the middle of the night. Suddenly, I felt a pain shoot down my left shoulder. It was a pain I never felt before and it jarred me from my sleep. 

My bedroom was pitch black except for the green glow of the numbers of the digital clock that sat at the corner of my dresser. As I woke to the pain, I looked over at the clock and saw the silhouette of my wheelchair. The pain began to make my fingers tingle. In my mind, I knew I should try to flex my arm or wiggle my fingers, but those actions have eluded me for the past 15 years. 

I stared down at my arm for a brief moment and an unfamiliar sensation fell over me. As I looked down on my hand, I focused all my energy to lifting my arm to my head. For a few seconds I intently stared down my arm as something amazing happened. 

My entire body began to tingle and my hand lifted up from my bed. I could feel my heart race faster and faster as I moved my arm towards my head. I was amazed at what I just did. For the first time in since I was a teenager, I was able to move my arms. I reared up as I was surprised at what just occurred. I felt the cool breeze hit my cheek as tears rolled down my face. 

My entire body suddenly felt different. I no longer felt chained down by some mysterious illness. After I put my arm back at my side, I decided to see how much movement I regained. 

I peered down at the red blanket that covered my legs. Underneath the cotton fabric, I noticed that my toes were wiggling underneath the covers. I smiled from ear to ear as I realized that my movement was returning. With my newfound strength, I wanted to see if I could get up on my own. 

As if I was experience this sensation for the first time in my life, I slowly sat up in my bed and stared into darkness that covered my bedroom. I wanted to stand up immediately, but I still wasn't at 100%. After a couple big breaths, I mustered up enough strength and courage to stand. 

Standing up was an amazing feeling. I could feel all of the muscles working in my body. I was a little wobbly, but I was too excited to care. My life was changing, just as it did 15 years ago. With what little strength I had, I started to walk to my parents bedroom. 

The hardwood floor felt so cold as I staggered down the hall. It had been quite a while since I felt any sensation at the soles of my feet. Slowly, I made my way to my parent's bedroom. As I made it to the doorway, I released my excitement.

"Mom, dad..." I proclaimed. "I can walk!"

My parents jumped from their bed and quickly turned on the light. To their amazement, they found me standing at the foot of their bed. 

"Gabe!" My mom shouted as she threw off the sheets and ran toward me. "How'd this happen!"

She gave me a huge hug before I woke from the dream. That was the last thing I remember before waking up. 

I have dreamed about regaining my movement many times. I have dreamed about being able bodied and doing things from outside my electric wheelchair. But this time it felt different. This felt real. As I was dreaming, I felt like it was reality. The sensations, the images, the happiness. It all felt like it was really happening. 

Was it a premonition of things to come? Was it just a fantasy of a future I will never experience? Who knows. All I do know is that I will never stop fighting. I will continue to hope and dream about overcoming my illness and regaining the use of my arms and legs. 

My 15th Anniversary

Today is the 15th anniversary of the day I became a quadriplegic. Even though my body may be weak, I believe my illness has made me a stronger person. It's a weird feeling to realize that I've now spent more time in a wheelchair than being able-bodied. For all the good and bad, it's been a crazy and exciting 15 years. Even though this isn't the way I planned my first 29 years to go, I'm determined to live life on my own terms.

Here's to the next 15 years...

Overcoming My Biggest Fears

Over the past 14+ years, I have been asked several times if I was ever scared when I first became a quadriplegic. My answer has always been yes, to a certain degree. Of course, being in a hospital surrounded by numerous doctors and nurses would frighten even the most courageous of teenagers, and I was no different.

Looking back on my hospital stay, I found it difficult to ever remember being truly scared; probably because I was so focused on trying not to die, I shoved the fear into the back of the dark reaches of my mind. For a while it was so hectic it seemed impossible for me stop and really come to grips with what was happening to me.

Once I was able to take a moment, I did find myself becoming afraid about what was happening to me. But I wasn’t afraid that I was going to die, or that I’d be in the hospital forever. I was scared that I was going to lose the life and everything I knew. For 14 years, everything seemed to be on track. I was a great students, had amazing friends and a supportive family. And as I laid motionless in my hospital bed, all I could think about is that I would never see that life again.

While my life did change on that fateful September day in 1997, I can say that I’ve faced this adversity head on and beat my illness to live the best life I can. But while my past fears may be gone, I find myself with a new fear.

From the first day I became a quadriplegic, there isn’t a moment that goes by where I don’t think about what it was like to be able-bodied. There are times when I find myself remembering playing soccer with my friends, sitting in Mr. Cranson’s 8th-grade Spanish class and riding my bike to the Links for a round of golf. But lately I’ve begun to notice something different about these memories. While I remember doing these things, I’m finding it harder and harder to remember what it felt like to kick a soccer ball, sit in a chair or ride a bike. I know that I was able to have 14 years of life with the ability to move my arms and legs, but as the years go by, remembering what that feels like is getting more and more difficult.

And that scares me to death.

Hopkins Syndrome has robbed me of my mobility, and as I get older, time is robbing me of the remembering the experiences of my past. Now that I’m spending my days in an electric wheelchair, my memories are all that remain of my life as an able-bodied person. And just like it did 14 years ago, the fear is starting to return from the dark reaches of my mind.

But just like I did 14 years ago, I’m going to fight and overcome my fear. While this disease has taken away my ability to move my arms, I’m going to hold onto these memories for as long as I can and never let go.

My First Car

My first car, I shall call her Dalia.It's a right of passage that every teenager dreams of, getting their first car. It signals the beginning of their new found independence and and symbolyzes a new transition to adulthood. Whether it's a beat up 1986 Volvo or a 2012 Range Rover, you can't keep the pride from beaming across their smiling faces.

Just like every other bright-eyed teenager, I to dreamed of the day I would receive my very own car. Unfortunately, the first set of wheels I ever received were attached to a Quickie electric wheelchair, so that dream was put on hold.

Ever since I became sick at 14, I wondered if I would ever get the chance to have my own car. I often thought about the first time I would get behind the wheel, but for now, a joystick would have to do. 

It was a little late, but at 28 years of age, I finally was able to purchase my very first car, a cherry red 2006 Dodge Grand Caravan. Along with its firey color, a grey pinstripe runs down the middle of the body and hood scoops sits on the hood. It's definitely a muscle car trapped in a mini-van's body, and it has my name written all over it.

I was so proud of myself when I got the van because owning a car as a person with a disability is no easy task. Since I am in an electric wheelchair, it's not like I could just buy some clunker to get me from A to Z. I needed something that was accessible, and the wheelchair lifts alone cost $13,000-$15,000. So the cheapest used car I would get would be around $22,000. I guess they forgot to let me know that you need to be rich if you're going to be disabled.

If able bodied people are allowed to purchase affordable modes of transportation, the same should be afforded to people with disabilities. I am one of the fortunate people with disabilities to have a job and salary that allows me to have my own car, but many people in my situation can not afford spending $20,000 - $50,000 on a car.  If there was one thing I could change, it would be to make handicapped vans more affordable.

My first car is someting I'll always cherish and remember. It is a symbol of my success and independence, and I hope that one day this experience can be more of a reality for people with disabilities.

A New Post Idea: What If...

Since my New Year's Resolution was to write more, I'm trying to come up with some fresh, entertaining content that I think you will all enjoy. One of my ideas is to answer the question, "What if?" I spend a lot of time just daydreaming and thinking about various scenarios in my head, and I think it'd be fun to put my thoughts on paper. 

Every post, I will answer a different what if question. I've come up with a bunch of different questions, and I think you'll enjoy them. Feel free to post your own answers in the comments area. It would be fun to see everyone's responses.

Stay tuned for my first "What If" post in the coming weeks.

My New Year's Resolution for 2012

See John, you were worried for nothing.Well, the calendar finally reads 2012 and it looks like the Mayans and John Cusack has us all worried over nothing. Since the world isn't coming to an end, I guess it's time I made my new year's resolutions. Along with the cliche resolutions, losing weight, saving money, and being happy, there is one that I've made a priority for 2012.

Be more consistent with my blogging and do more writing.

I've had my website for years, but I haven't been very good at posting regularly. If I'm going to have the site, I might as well make the best of it.

So this year, I will be more proactive in my blogging and be better at keeping to my writing. I've chosen writing as my career path, so it's time I stayed committed to honing my craft. I will be posting about living life with a disability and all my experiences along the way.

There will also be random posts about my hobbies and passions, so keep an eye out for those as well. Hopefully I will continue to develop my voice while posting entertaining and informative posts. My life has been a crazy ride over the past 14 years, and I have plenty of stories to share.

Well, here goes. Hope everyone has a great 2012 and be sure to check back for more updates!

I Wish My Life Was More Like a Romantic Comedy

William Thacker was a very lucky man. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it would be like to be in a serious relationship. Of course, this isn't the first time I've thought about having a girlfriend, but it's definitely at the front of my mind.

I just recently watched Larry Crowne (a great movie by the way), and I couldn't help but wish that my life was more like a romantic comedy. As I watched Tom Hanks flirt with Julia Roberts on the big screen, I dreamt about what it would be like if I was in his world.

I already have a perfect situation that plays out in my mind.

I'm sitting at the mall, just wasting some time until I have to go to work. Suddenly, I realize that I'm going to be late and rush towards the exit. As I roll towards the door, I look down at my phone on my lap to catch the time. At the same time, a cute girl is standing by the door, intently typing away on her cell phone.

Without looking, I accidentally get a little too close to her and run over her toe. She screams out in pain as she falls into a plastic chair. My face becomes red with embarrassment, as I try to apologize. She is noticeably irritated and is about to tear me to the ground until she realizes that I'm in a wheelchair.

"It's okay," she shrugs. "Just watch where you drive that thing.

"I'm really sorry about that," I reply. "I've been driving for 10 years and I still haven't got the hang of this."

She then slowly limps away, but not before cracking a little smile.

Our paths cross again in the parking lot. I notice her limping around, staring aimlessly into the sea of cars. I slowly roll up behind her.

"Need some help," I ask.

"No, I just seem to have misplaced by Mustang," she replies with a sigh.

"Well, I'll help you look for it," I say. "My arms and legs may be broke, but  my sense of direction is as good as ever. And it looks like your hurtin' a bit. Let me give you a lift."

She looks back and furls her brow.

"A lift," she questions. "On what?"

I smile and tell her that she can hop on the back of my chair and I'll take her to her car. Reluctantly, she steps on the back of my chair and we roll around the parking lot in search of her car. After a few minutes, we come across her Mustang and I drop her off.

Once again I apologize for running over her toe and wish her a great rest of her day. She gets off my chair and walks to her car. Just before she leaves, she drives up along side me, stops and gets out of her car. She pulls out a piece of paper and writes down her number. 

"If you need a lift next time, give me a call," she says with a smile before she drives off. The rest, they say, is romantic comedy history.

Well, in a perfect world, that's how I envision it playing out. But reality is far from perfect, so for now I'll just keep hoping. That, or maybe I'll just open up an antique travel book shop on Notting Hill.